My mother and father have been more supportive than I could have imagined - helping me find my way out of a situation I know they never agreed with in the first place. They took me in the first weekend and let me stay at their house and cry and feel sorry for myself. My Mom and Dad helped me find a new place (or two) to live and spent an entire day dealing with my hasty (and poor) decision making, helped move boxes and clean the old house and even made sure that I had an air conditioner in my new place so I didn't feel like I was going to burn to death. They also helped me tremendously with Ginger while I was working and staying at Merrill Lake.
My sisters have also been amazing. Julie has been awesome and is always a great listening ear. My Moreno niece and nephews are a bright moment in any awful day and I am grateful to have them so close.
Sara and Corinne have been amazing too. Sara came home the first weekend and even brought Reba too. I was so lost at first that it meant so much to have people around, even if just to fill the lonely space with family and friends so I didn't have to think about being alone. And Corinne came the weekend that I moved to help unpack boxes and say great things about my new house.
Katherine Murray is the greatest friend a woman could ask for. Katie had probably heard me sob more than speak in the first six weeks after I moved out of the old house and never once complained about it. I love Katie because she can be supportive but will also tell me when I am only hurting myself. She was angry with Tim probably more than I and it helped me so much to hear her say the things I was thinking but was not strong enough to admit. Katie was the first person to say that I needed to stop giving Tim my heart to break and it was the first time I realized that I just needed to walk away.
Tess Bell has been one of my dearest friends for the majority of my life. Even when we lived on different sides of the country she has always been a grounding force for me. Of course, as soon as I called her she came immediately to my parents house (with a cooler of beer) and spent the evening with me and my family. Tess and Russ really are my family and I love them both for always being such good friends.
The only thing that could have made the situation worse would have been losing my good friends that I have spent the past three years of my life with: Jennifer Sellers, Derek Sellers, Brandon Simon, Jamie Williams and Josh Simon. I cannot thank them enough for keeping me in their lives and continuing to spend time with me even when I moved further away and stopped being a part of Tim's life.
Two days before Derek and Jenny's wedding I called and told Jen I couldn't be in the wedding. Both Derek and Jen came to my house and gave me a little stern talking to, but I don't think either of them realize how much that conversation meant to me and how much it helped me take the first steps toward feeling like a normal human being.
So the most important things that I have realized in the last few months are:
I do not have to choose to believe the awful things that Tim said about me.
I have always been an independent person who is okay on my own. And I will be okay.
This situation is not as awful as I was sure it was in the first place. I had been crying because my fiance broke up with me while one of the most amazing women I know, Jamie Williams, had been at the Mayo Clinic for months fighting and beating cancer like a champ for the second time. My cousin Jennifer Adams lost her battle with cancer last month and her family is moving on with this amazing grace and courage. I also recently spoke with an old friend from high school who is a recovering alcoholic and will celebrate his first year of sobriety on November 10th. If these people that I love and admire so much can survive suffering these true tragedies I am sure I can find my way across this small bump in the road.
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