Shout Out of the Day: Blake Daniel

Blake worked with me in the Rec Dept. at Yellowstone last summer. Sometimes after work Blake and I would walk home together. Between the rec hall and our dorms is the Old Faithful Post Office. Since we both had a PO Box, we would often stop to check our mail. Almost every single day we would open our boxes and Blake would pull out a letter or a card or a package slip and my box would be EMPTY. Probably 95% of the time I had nothing in my box. It wouldn't have been so disturbing except that every day he had something in his. I would think "What's wrong with my friends? Why can't they write me a letter?" and Blake would explain how someone taught him that you had to write letters to receive them. And it's true that I've never been good at writing letters so I guess I couldn't complain.

I recently went to the post office here in Arizona and got a box since I can't get mail delivered to my apartment. I put up the address on my blog because Julie is sending me something in the mail and my parents are sending a package of things that I left at home, so yesterday I went to the post office and opened my box and I did not have the letter from Julie or the package from home, but I did have a postcard from Spain! So Blake gets the shout out of the day today because he remembered how much I love mail and because I'm very excited that my box wasn't empty for once.

Thank you Blake.

What Is Up With Justin Blakely Living In Australia?

does anyone know?

I received an email from him that said "here's my new address" like maybe he just moved down the street, but the city was listed as Byron Bay, NSW 2481. I wondered, "Where the heck is NSW?" I had to Google it to find out. (Check out http://www.byron.nsw.gov.au/ or http://thegreatoutdoors.com.au/display.php?ID=1488 for more info on the area)

And then he signed the email
"Cheers,
Justin "

In the words of JB himself

"What the....!?!???!"

Shout Out of the Day: apgriffi

Happy Birthday Mr. Aaron Paul Griffith.
Griff turns 26 today!!!

Griff is one of my best friends from home. He just bought a house in Grand Rapids (Walker) and is working at Bissell with his good friend Joe. Griff also has a lovely lady in his life named Jennifer who is great and his sister Alicia is the one who flew out to California to run my marathon with me.

Griff -- I hope you have a good birthday and a good weekend. Tell the fam and Jenny hi from me. I miss you, but hopefully I'll see you in May!

A Photo Just for Fun: J-rod and Erin

and a lesson in pluralization



This is Jarrod and I in Eastgate Lanes, one of the bowling alleys* in Big Rapids. I had come from Julie and Jason's wedding reception and Jarrod had come from Jerrad Councilor's wedding reception. If you're from the B-Rap - check out the guy with the drink in the back. It's Sean Williams. Ha ha. I think this is the first time I have seen Jarrod since high school where he actually looked like the Jarrod Bloomquist that I remember.

* I was confused about how to spell this, but Julie checked it out:
Alley follows the simple rule of adding an “s” to become a plural; alley, alleys: Cats prowled the alleys of the town. Do not confuse alleys with allies, the plural of ally: France was just one of the U.S. allies during the war

(From http://www.wordfiles.info/clarify-words-alley.html)

Shout Out of The Day: Josh Woodward

Josh Woodward gets the shout out of the day today. Josh is a Christian Innovator who worked at Old Faithful with me and has been mentioned on my blog before. The pic above is a photo of Josh that I ganked off his blog.

One day over the summer I was watching a movie in Columbine Dorm with Josh and Ngoc and Susie. Josh offered to drive me home because it was late and is quite a hike to Lupine Dorm, where I lived and he didn't want me to walk back alone. Of course, being the gentleman that he is and because it was cold Josh also offered me a warm jacket that he had purchased at the Trading Post in West Yellowstone, Montana. I tried to give it back when he dropped me off but he told me to keep it until later. The last few times that I saw him I kept forgetting to bring the jacket and before he left the park we finally decided that I would give it back to him when I went to Georgia. Sadly, I haven't yet made it there and Josh's jacket is still in my possession. Well Josh found my blog (from a link on Blake's?) and left me a comment that finished with "oh yeah, i hope my coat is still treating you well! haha "

Josh, I'm sorry that I never gave you the jacket back. (Maybe I can mail it?) But thank you for providing it for me! And for the ride home. It was very good to hear from you. Please keep in touch and good luck at YNP this summer!!!

Shout Out of The Day (Good Luck Corinne!)

Corinne gets the shout out of the weekend because she is looking for a new job. Right now she's working two of them: one as a nanny to three children and another as a waitress. Corinne is working her butt off and in her free time she is scouring the internet and newspapers for job opportunities and somehow still finding time to spend with her boyfriend, Scott. She's a busy lady and I'm proud of her for making finding a new job a priority.

The photo is my family at Julie's wedding. Corinne's the one on the right with the Gwen Stefani hairdo.

Good Luck Corinne! I miss you!

(Hi Scott)

Happy Birthday Jezze G. (Shout Out of the Day)

Jesse Grenoble turns 26!!!

Happy Belated Birthday Jes.

These are pictures that Jennifer sent my way today.
The one above is Jesse with Lydia Faye, Jennifer and Jesse's cat.

And below is Jennifer and the kitty:

I miss you guys.

Shout Out of the Day

Today's shout out of the day goes to my sister Sara. She has been taking very good care of herself: eating right and exercising like crazy which has helped her to lose over 26 pounds. Sara is a great example of what it means to set goals and stick with them - even if there are setbacks along the way.



Sara has also had a very trying week at work. The little man to the left is Jake. Sara is working very hard with Jake to teach him how to use the toilet. He's not very happy about it and seems to enjoy his diapers. Hopefully they will have a breakthrough soon and he will feel better about the idea of wearing underwear.

I'm very proud of you Sare, and good luck with Jake this week!!

Photos From Mexico

I couldn't get them to attach to the last post. Sometimes blogger hates me.

A Day in Mexico

I spent Sunday in Nogales, Mexico with a lady named JoAnn who volunteers a great amount of her time to the city and our department. She invited me to a craft show, but after we drove the hour and a half to Amado we found out the fair was canceled due to inclement weather so we went to Mexico instead. I have never been to Mexico. The experience was very humbling and I have not been able to stop thinking about the city since I left.

Nogales is a border town so we parked on the American side of the city, stopped at the duty free store to buy some liquor and were escorted across the border by some security guards from the store. (I guess you have to physically go into Mexico to receive the cheap prices for the items so the duty free store pays security people to make sure you go over the border and ensure that the business doesn't lose their license.)

As soon as I crossed over the border I was amazed at the poverty inside this city. I was shocked at the difference in life and economy created simply by crossing a street. The Mexican side was full of trash and store after store selling the same items. I was walking down the street holding my camera when a woman tried to get me to buy a woodcarving and I told her I didn’t have any money. “That’s ok, that’s ok, I will trade you for your camera or your North Face shoes.” And I felt guilty, horribly guilty. Especially because I know I am a North Face brand whore.

What really broke my heart were the children begging for money. A little boy who could not be much older than two walked up to me with his hand cupped like it was holding water, he looked up at me with the sweetest little eyes and said "quarter? quarter?" He would follow people down the street just holding out his hand and asking for quarters. And it was cold - snowy and rainy and freezing cold.

It made me realize why so many Mexicans flee their own country and walk miles and miles over mountains in the heat of the summer or the snow and cold of the winter to try to make it safely to the States. And I began to understand why the Border Patrol are a necessary entity even though it did make me sick to see them, once we were closer to Mexico, crawling through the canyons on the side of the road carrying assault rifles.

While some of the day was depressing I must admit that I was entertained a bit by the desperate attempts to get me to purchase items at the stores. Some of my favorite lines from the storeowners were:

"It might be cold outside, but after looking at you my quickly beating heart has warmed my whole body. Please come inside and look at my jewelry."

"When you come back, I'm gonna take a picture, just me and you, and I’m going to blow it up and make it into a huge poster so I can see you every day"

"Are you married, because if you’re not I'd love to be the man to wake up looking at your face every day"

The men in this store were the most inventive:



JoAnn apparently frequents El Greco when she visits town and all of the men inside knew her:

“Oh, this is the lady who robbed me the last time she was here. She got me to drop so low on the price that I should have just given the pot to her for free.”

“Oh, it’s so good to see you again. Come and have a swig of my grandma’s tequila.”

So we proceeded to drink a bit of tequila from little plastic cups. And it was so good.

My favorite line of the day came from Alberto inside El Greco:

"Erin, that is such a beautiful name for a beautiful lady…. are you sure you're from Michigan? Because you look like you're from Hollywood"

I will say that while it's difficult for your soul, a visit to Nogales is absolutely wonderful for your self esteem.

Photos: A Name Plate, Business Cards & Another Snowy Morning in Arizona

And the Saga Continues:

Here's dad's new blinkie:

Georgia on My Mind (Shout Out of the Day)

Tesser, Brad, Liz & Co. get the shout out of the day today. Last year I made the trip to Florida/Georgia for spring break. It was full of fun including a weekend in Orlando with Jorgie and Daryn, 24 hours in Clermont with Bobby and the Bowman family, a St. Paddy's Day weekend in Savannah with the Beattie/Bell's and a Saturday trip to the hospital since I became deathly ill while on vacation. The St. Patrick's Day weekend was full of typical wonderful, amazing, heavenly Beattie cooked food and fun nights on the town.

This Friday is St. Patrick's Day and I was hoping to be able to make it to Savannah again. Obviously, with the new job, that won't be happening. I talked with Tess last night and she is getting ready for the big weekend and I also spoke with Brad who is driving to Savannah from Atlanta today. I'm bummed that I won't be there because I had so much fun last year (outside of the visit to the hospital). So just to feel a little bit more sorry for myself, I've decided to add some pictures from last year's trip:



Daryn and Eric after dinner in St. Augustine (or wherever we were?)















EJ and I.










This is Jen on the right, Brad, me and Tess' cousin Liz in the back.









This is me and Chris, another one of Tess' bros.










This is Tess with Jake, Tess and Russ' dog.









I guess I'm mostly just lamenting the loss of my spring break in general which has included:

* Disaster relief in Mississippi and a visit to New Orleans
* A pitstop in Nashville on the way to a week in Atlanta (which included a concert at the Tabernacle that prompted Jenny and I to develop love for a band called the Hippos and also was where the much publicized meeting of Mr. Bobby Bowman occured)
* Spain
* Georgia/Florida

The Goy Goy War Has Begun

Mom had Julie make her a blinkie:





I think we should just change our last name to Goy Goy.

Ha ha

Shout Out of the Day: Tom and Shannon Sturm

My friend Tom from GVSU is living with his lovely wife Shannon in Bellingham, Washington. Today they get the shout out of the day because they just bought a new house!!! Tom has been talking about Bellingham almost as long as I have been dreaming of Oregon (maybe longer) and has been visiting his sister and brother-in-law there every summer over his birthday in August. He and Shannon moved out west last summer and have finally found a house to purchase. And to make life in WA even better, Tom has been offered a job as a long-term sub teaching Language Arts and HISTORY, which is perfect for him.

Congratulations Tom and Shannon!!!

Erin Bean = Auntie Goy Goy

Once Lucas became old enough to make sounds sometimes when he had a binky in his mouth he would say “goy, goy” over and over again. Finally while Julie and Jason and my mom and dad and I were all together Lucas said “goy goy” and I said “He learned to say my name! I told him to call me goy goy.” After that of course everyone insisted that they were grandpa goy goy or mommy goy goy, but I am the one and original Auntie Goy Goy and now Julie made me a name tag blinkie to prove it!!!

Shout Out of the Day:Mom and Dad

Today's shout out goes to my mom and dad. It feels great to have parents that are so supportive of me and who love me enough to worry about me. Every day that I talk to my dad he says "Erin, did you get any pepper spray yet?" because he doesn't like the idea of me running and hiking alone. He said he will ask every day until I buy some! And my dad has even put the weather for my little town on his website so he always knows what's happening where I live. My mom sent me a package full of things that I forgot at home and goodies like Cadbury eggs and Girl Scout cookies. I even found a Pioneer, the paper from Big Rapids, in my package. I am very blessed to have parents who encourage me to follow my dreams and who make sacrifices that have allowed me to get started with my adult life and career. So thank you Mom and Dad, I love you very much and miss you every day.

A new address

I finally went to the post office to get myself a PO Box:

Erin Nichole Bean
PO Box 286
Sierra Vista, AZ 85636

Dorky Chickenbutt

MY NEW NAME IS IN THE TITLE.....DON'T LAUGH UNTIL YOU FIND OUT YOURS.

We all need a little stress-reliever!

This only takes a minute.

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. And, if we are honest, we have a lot more stressful days than not.

Here is your dose of humor...

A. Follow the instructions to find your new name.

B. Once you have figured it out, please lave a comment with your new name.

C. Then, if you'd like, put the name in the subject of an email and send it to your friends.

Don't be shy, a senior manager is now known far and wide as Dorky Gizzardsniffer and my friend Katrina from YNP is Tootsie Chickenshorts.

The following is excerpted from a children's book, Captain Underpants And the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants, by Dave Pilkey, in which the evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:
a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
= sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:
a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:
a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is:
Fluffy Chucklefanny.

Now when you send this on...use your new name as the subject.

Photos: Lucas and Snowy Arizona

Ready for a Day on the Town

My mom took Lucas for a walk this weekend. He was prepared for the good weather with his sunglasses and binky. Oh, he is so cute!!

And some photos of the SNOWY Arizona weekend:

Shout Out of the Day: Mr. Neil 'Class President' Ewing

Today's shout out goes to Neil. (Mom and Dad, Neil is the one who ate the big plate of spaghetti and rode in the corvette smoking a cigar with dad) Neil is in Boston for PA school. He is having the time of his life and lives in a 3 bedroom house near the subway. He was recently voted class president at school and he is smitten with a new lady who sounds great and makes him very happy. At the end of our conversation neil said "Bean, you sound different"
me: "different how?"
neil: "I don't know, older?...happy"
Thanks Neil!

As always, our conversation eventually turned to our epic spring break adventure in San Sebastian, Spain. Here are my Top 10 Erin and Neil (and Nicole?) memories - Neil, tell me if you agree or disagree.

1. Neil's lost luggage on the way over
2. The Guggenheim in Bilbao
3. My favorite Spanish beverage and my embarassment over having to order it
4. An argument at the bar (every day)
5. Trying to sleep on the beach our last night (and a very frustrated Scott demanding that we go back to the apartment. "Erin, if you sleep on the beach, I have to sleep on the beach, and I'm not sleeping on the beach.")
6. Climbing to Jesus
7. Visiting the beautiful Cathedrals that looked like this:



and this:



8. The pasta, oh the pasta! The best spaghetti, full of spicy goodness. The taste that can never be duplicated (maybe only if we are again with Scott in a Spanish kitchen at 5:30 am after a long night out sitting at a table next to a washing machine).
9. Erin, worried that Neil hadn't packed yet, waking him up first at the kitchen table, then in the living room, again in living room after he had migrated to the inside of his sleeping bag, and finally finding him in the bathroom getting ready to take a shower while the taxi was outside waiting, ready to take us to the bus station.
10. As a result of the above mentioned (#9) mayhem: Neil forgetting his plane ticket on the dresser at Katie's and not realizing it until we were on the bus to the airport in Bilbao.

And my absolute all-time favorite memory of Katherine Murray was seeing her dancing the last night we were in Spain. She was so happy, singing along to the Spanish music and it made me so happy to see her in that place. When I think of Katie I always think of that moment, because it was her spirit exactly where it belonged, in this place we had heard her talk about and dream about since the first day we arrived at Grand Valley State University.

The best memory of Neil and I that is associated with the trip to Spain actually happened many months later, after I returned from Crater Lake. It was in Neil's Ranger, sitting in the driveway of the house on National when we discussed why we argued every single day of the vacation. We laughed at our ridiculousness, forgave each other, made up, spilled some secrets and have been the best of friends ever since.

I miss you Neil! I promise, I'm coming to Boston and you better take me to Fenway.

And it feels so good.....

1) To get a phone call from my dad telling me that I had received a rather official looking envelope from Humboldt in the mail. I finally have my diploma!!! which is great and hilarious because it is signed by my former state's governator-terminator Arnold Schwarze-whatever.

2) To see the Count Basie Orchestra on Friday night. The show was awesome. I sat with Tony Suggs, the piano player, at dinner and a lady I work with kept calling him Stevie Wonder because he had long dreads and sunglasses.

3) To talk with some great old friends over the weekend including Alicia Griffith, Aaron Griffith, Katie Murray and Neil Ewing.

4) To finally get a name plate for my office at work. It feels very official and looks great.

Shout Out of the Day

Today's shout out goes to Mr. Rob Durr and the lucky # 9.

Rob is my sister Sara's boyfriend and I recently found out that he has been checking out my blog in secret. Well, not really in secret, but we didn't know he was seeing it. So Hi Rob!!!

Julie and Jason celebrate their 6-month Anniversary!!

I just want to take a moment to say that I am so proud of Julie and Jason and how far they have come in the past 15 months. Not only have they been married and become parents they have also purchased a beautiful new home. I don’t think that anyone could have predicted just a year ago how proud we would all be of Julie and Jason and how much we would love this new being that they have brought into our lives. It has definitely been an amazing experience to witness my youngest sister’s journey through some of life’s most intense and exciting challenges and experiences. I love Jason and believe that there is not a man who is better suited to spend his life with my sister. And my nephew Lucas is truly the love of my life. I never knew that I would feel so much for this newborn little baby that I don’t even know, but watching him grow every day during the first four months of his life was something I will never forget and feel blessed to have been able to witness.

Thank you Julie and Jason. Congratulations and I love you both.

Shout Out of the Day

Shout Out of the Day

Today's shout out goes to Mr. Jason Moreno (Julie's husband). I was slightly hysterical when I called his house last night and he calmed me down.

Here's the story: I was talking to Jorgie on the phone. He is in Austin, Texas for a golf tournament. (On a side note, I told Jorgie before he left that he had to find Lance and give him my number or tell him I was waiting for him or something since he and Sheryl broke it off. So Jorgie said he saw a man riding a bike and told me it was Lance. Of course, I freaked out and said "did you really see him?" and Jorgie says "well, there are tons of people riding bikes around here, so it probably wasn't him, but it could have been." Ha. So much for me and Lance.)

Back to the original story that leads to the shout out: So my friend Katie Murray from GVSU rings in on call waiting and I tell Jorgie I'll call him back in a few because I want to talk to Katie. Then Katie and my phone call gets cut off and she calls me back.

I answer: "Hello"

Katie: "Erin, are you in Europe?"

me: "No."

Katie: "Your phone is ringing like you're in Europe."

Sometimes my phone randomly goes off of a weird tower, and Caller ID doesn't work, the phone calls come in as private number and most of the time it won't let me answer and I can't make calls. When this happens the phone says Mex 030 on it instead of Cingular, so I'm assuming it's a Mexican tower. When I try to make a phone call a woman with an accent comes on and says "That number is not correct, please be quiet and try again." Of course she probably doesn't really say be quiet, but that's what it sounds like to me. The weird part is that this message is delivered in English. So I'm still confused about the whole Mex030 thing.

When Katie called though, the call came through and I answered and we talked for a while. The other line kept ringing and I didn't answer because it said private caller and I wasn't sure who it was. Then we finally hung up and the phone kept ringing, but I couldn't answer. I had 7 missed calls and I started to freak out. But I couldn't call my voice mail because the lady with the accent kept telling me to be quiet. So I am getting ready to drive down into town to get my phone to work so I can call and finally I get back Cingular service. I call my voicemail and whoever has called 7 times has not left me a message. Now I'm convinced that someone has died or is severly injured or something and they didn't want to leave the message on my voicemail. I call home and let the phone ring. It rings and rings and the answering machine doesn't pick up, which means that someone is on the other line and won't answer call waiting. So now I'm sure something happened and my parents are on the phone with someone else explaining the story. I call Julie and Jason's and Jason says "Erin, you sound like you're freaking out. Your parents just left here 10 minutes ago, everything is fine." And I felt so much better.

Turns out it was Jorgie calling to get the address for my blog so he could see his Shout Out and he was also mad that I said I would call back and didn't.

I guess this is a lesson in making up entire stories about death and destruction when you have no idea what is really going on. It could just be a friend who wants an address for a blog.

So thank you Jason!

Update:

The following is an email I received from Mr. Aaron Griffith this morning:

I tried to call you back last night and your phone was making the weirdest sound when it was ringing. I'll try again tonight.

I guess some of the missed calls came from Griff. Ha ha.

Quote of the Day

First a refresher from my post at the bottom of the page titled A Story of Faith:

"And this weekend I was happily surprised by a phone call from Jennifer Grenoble. After making it through a long stretch of dropped calls, Jennifer found her place with her nose against the refrigerator and I sat on my counter leaning against the window with my feet in the sink. This is where we finally found a good connection. "

And the Quote of the Day is an excerpt from an email sent by Jennifer Grenoble, in reference to the above mentioned phone conversation:

"P.S. I truly believe that God was telling me to call you last weekend but if that's the case, why would he make the connection so difficult?! I mean, did the refrigerator and the sink really help?? hahaheheheh!!!"

Shout Out of the Day

Julie Woolie gets the shout out of the day for getting me my awesome signature for my blog:




isn't it great?

Thank you Jules!!!!

Weekend Hiking Photos

I went hiking on Sunday for most of the day. I wore Chacos, shorts and a tank top. Very different from the snow I left just three weeks ago in Michigan. I thought I'd put up a few photos from the hike. I just went on the trails that are behind my house, so I wasn't in any of the scary places and I saw quite a few other runners and hikers while I was out. I was surprised to see much of the same vegetation that Ryan and I saw while we were hiking on the PCT in east San Diego County. I guess it makes sense because that's desert too and really is not that far away from here. But anyway, here are the photos, you can click on them and make them bigger if you'd like:
















Miss you guys,

Shout Out of the day

I would like to send a shout out to the folks at Dream N Stitches. Yes this means you Chelsea, Aunt Dawn, Grandpa, Tracie and Andrea. For those of you who don't know, Dream N Stitches is a knitting and quilting store that my Aunt Dawn and her sister Tracie own in Big Rapids. It is downtown next to Heartwoods and Living Water. I miss being in the store and visiting. Thank you for checking out my blog and leaving me messages. You guys are the best.

A story of faith

I feel really excited about finding a church. It is huge for me right now and is the best time of year to do this. I've been thinking so much lately about when I allowed everything else to become more important to me. I think it started when I moved west for the first time - to Oregon, and I wanted so much to become a stronger more independent woman. I gave up my relationship with God to try to make it on my own. And I found that I'm not very good at it. (Matthew 10:39) There have been times in the past few years that I have taken steps in the right direction like finding a church in San D. and making it to church on the holidays but it needs to be something that is a part of my life every day and not just when it is convenient. (1 Cor. 10:31)

It has been difficult for me to really make a commitment because I have felt very intimidated. I have been afraid to go back to church and afraid to call myself a Christian because I was so far from where I knew I should be. I continued to trudge forward on the wrong path, afraid to turn around and not confident in what lied ahead. But then I made some important changes in the focus of my life and was offered a job at Yellowstone. I was placed at Old Faithful where there were amazing examples of what it meant to be faithful and where I was surrounded by people patient enough to continue to give me gentle nudges in the right direction.

I do believe that working with Blake was a gift - our friendship was the beginning of a turn of events that has made a huge impact on the direction of my life. Blake gave me a Bible when I realized that mine had been left in Livingston in my storage unit, he gave me The Purpose Driven Life and also connected me with people (RJ, Ngoc and the Joshes) who became very instrumental in my new journey.

Of course anyone who knows RJ Bullen would not deny that he carries a message of love with him - God's love and our love and loving each other. (Gal 5: 13-15) RJ definitely taught me all about loving my neighbor. And I will be forever thankful for Josh Woodward who really opened the door for me by inviting me to join the last Bible study before the Christian Innovators left the park and ultimately moving the meeting to my office so I could be a part of it. Then Ngoc asked me to spend the weekend with the Innovators in West Yellowstone. And finally I listened to yet another Josh's testimony at church on Sunday and was moved by the message from this normally very reserved man who obviously had a gift for speaking candidly about faith and who quietly but firmly challenged each of us to become better people and live our lives as better examples. And then I heard Josh describe the story of so many people who move to Yellowstone and become confused because they are simultaneously running from the conviction of God and searching for Him. Although I had not been willing to admit it, this had been my dilemma all along. I was running around the country, searching for strength and a place to belong and the whole time what I really needed was to give my independence away and develop a relationship with God.

I will not pretend that I made an immediate change in my life after that weekend. I was still nervous and even ashamed. The change did not come the next day or the next week, but the events leading up to the experience of that weekend did plant a seed that eventually became something I chose to cultivate. (The smallest good act today is the capture of a strategic point from which, a few months later, you may be able to go on to victories you never dreamed of. - C.S. Lewis, Mere Christianity) I thank God everyday for placing me at Yellowstone in a setting that allowed me to find my faith again on my own terms and without pressure. And I am learning more and being challenged more everyday.

And still these people are blessing my life by sharing what God has taught them. (I Tim 6:18) Blake sent me a book called Searching For God Knows What that has opened my eyes and addressed many of my concerns about Christianity.

And this weekend I was happily surprised by a phone call from Jennifer Grenoble. After making it through a long stretch of dropped calls, Jennifer found her place with her nose against the refrigerator and I sat on my counter leaning against the window with my feet in the sink. This is where we finally found a good connection. We had an amazing conversation about what each of us needs to do to become better Christians and how we can make changes to prevent hearing my father's "Now girls...that's not very Christian of you."

We also discussed what we see as some of the road blocks of teaching about Christianity: how certain words or phrases can immediately throw a wrench in a conversation that began with perfectly good intentions, the way we sometimes forget how intimidating God speak can be and how arrogance (I keep hearing this word) can turn away a non-believer before we get a chance to plead our case.

Sometimes we believe we are better off because of where we stand and forget that this is not a competition. It is not about a winner and a loser. It is about faith and fellowship - leading by example (You must be the change you wish to see in the world. - Mahatma Gandhi) and challenging those around us to become better while changing ourselves in the process. It is knowing that Christian or not, we are all sinners.

Max Lucado states this well with a parable in Traveling Light:

Pretty soon we start praying like the fellow at the religious caucus: "God, I thank you that the world has people like me. The man on the corner needs welfare - I don't. The prostitute on the street has AIDS - I don't. The drunk at the bar needs alcohol - I don't. The gay caucus needs morality - I don't. I thank you that the world has people like me."

Fortunately there was a man at the same meeting who had deflected all the applause. Too contrite to even look at the skies he bowed and prayed, "God have mercy on me, a sinner. Like my brother on welfare, I'm dependent on your grace. Like my sister with AIDS, I'm infected with mistakes. Like my friend who drinks, I need something to ease my pain. And as you love and give direction to the gay, grant some to me as well. Have mercy on me, a sinner."

I see qualities of myself in the prayer of the first man, so for Lent I am giving up the attitude of superiority that the first man possesses and fighting to change my perspective to more closely match the humility of the second man.

I also am giving up making excuses and eating chocolate, just for the record.